In Other News

So there are a few things to talk about but nothing really worthy of it's own post so I have decided to lump it all together.

So, in other news:

- It's cold. Like in the teens for you Fahrenheit users or below zero for you Celsius folk.

- It snowed about 8 inches the other day. Probably some othe biggest snow flaeks I have ever seen. Like little angles were throwing snowballs at us from Heaven. They made this place actually look kinda nice. Then a lot of it melted and now this place is a big sheet of ice. I have nearly broke my neck about a dozen times now. It's going to happen, I just hope no one is there to laugh at me when I bounce my head off the pavement.

- With the 8 inches of fresh snow we decided to build a 6 foot snow penis. I know, way to go guys...We are like a bunch of teenagers overhere.  Everyone got a good laugh out of it, including our Korean pilot neighbors. We took some photos with them and laughed some more, then left it there by the runway for everyone to admire. One group didn't. Sorry AF friends... But it was the piece of shit Air Force Pararescue dirt bags next door and their whiny ass ugly females. They decided to call up the chain of command and raise hell and get everyone pissed off and in our business. No one in our command had a problem with it but they were pissed that it became such an issue. One commander was quoted as sayinghe "would be more worried if his attack pilots were building snowmen...." If they had any courage in meaningless lives they would have come over and told us to knock it down or done it themselves, or shut their eyes for the short 3 months they are here. But it was cold and they didn't want to get their boots wet I imagine. This has been a series of issues with these "spec ops" wanna-be's next door. Just wait until the next snow fall...

- Moving on, I haven't got a haircut since early November. My hair is beyond long, extremely out of regulation and I get death stares from senior enlisted everyday at chow. I love it.

- Did I mention it is cold?

- The walk to and from the shower at 0400 every morning has become rather miserable. It's only about 50 yards from my room to the shower trailer, but in only flip flops and shorts in nearly single digits is getting rather unbearable.

- My wife got me a GoPro HD camera. It's one of those really nice ones you mount on your helmet when you are snowboarding or skydiving or living a wild and extreme life. I don't think she remembers how un-exciting I am. Maybe she is telling me to get off the couch and do cool stuff. Either way I will try to film some flying here before to long.

- Finally, 110 days until I go on R&R... But who's counting?

"She'd never been to Texas, never heard of King Kong..."   - Spoon

That's French for, "I'm Awesome"

For those of you that don't know, I am back from my 40 day business trip to "Lil France". It was an absolutely awesome experience. I can not really express that enough here. The French (FR) were excellent host and were very friendly. There was no rude "Euro-trash" attitude which I completely expected. I have never been to Europe so I can only base all my assumptions on what I hear from others. Much like what the FR do when they read and see the things about the US that are out there. We really do look like a country of complete idiots. The clowns that are out there "occupying" cities in America get a lot of international news and so does Rick Perry and Herman Cain and the rest of the candidates. Add all that tom-foolery in with the rest of Washington's BS and we really look just a shade better than Syria on international news.

Fanny Agostini - BFMTV Weather Girl

But the bright side of it all is that one of the weather girls on BFMTV, Paris news, looks just like (kinda) the character "Robin" from "How I Met Your Mother", one of my favorite shows. This cheered me up immensely when I was having a long day.

As for what I was doing day to day out there; I spent a lot of time on the computer. I sent a ton of emails a day it seemed, coordinating flights in and out of the area and helping with the planning of upcoming operations in the area also. I also spent a lot of time being the middle man between the US and the FR. That is essentially my job as the US Aviation Liason to the French, but people just love to blast the middle man, so I fielded dozens of irrate phones calls. I did the right thing and held my ground and helped as best I could. I know they are just stressed and its easy to call the english speaking person at the French base and yell at him than try to calmly explain it the a non English speaking FR soldier. The job had long hours (about 7am to 10pm) but there was always time for a coffee break and meal time was at a French pace, which is very leisurely. Lunch usually was about and hour and a half and dinner was close to two hours everyday. Some days I could not give up that much time and would have to skip out on them, but somehow they always made time. They would say "the war will still be here after dinner". My response, in my head, was "No shit the war will still be here will an attitude like that..."

Probably one of the harder lessons to learn while there was how they have a less aggressive attiutde toward day to day operations. Other countries seem to have a very different approach to the little scuffle we have going on over here. Much different than anything the US Army has ever taught me. A lot of the time it seems like they're are just tagging along because their" big brother" the US came here and they don't want to not help out and have it bite them in the ass later. I understand that we have been here for a long time and that there is no real "goal" to end all this, so the idea of winning will boil down to who has the best PR campaign when we pull out of here.

The FR in particular took very hard losses (relative to the number of FR troops on the ground here) last summer when they decided to go head first, house by house, in some of the nastiest places over here. It didn't turn out well. They gained a lot of ground and rid the area of a lot of bad people, but the continued bad press back in Paris of the losses being sustained ended up letting all the progress from the summer slip away in vain when they were told to fall back in to a more defensive role. It is an election year in France and it appears that Paris wants no such news of it's young men and women dying before the upcoming elections. They have gone to great lengths to ensure that won't happen but it's impossible to not have any losses over here. I will elaborate more on this in a later post.

I could go on and on about my counter-parts while I was there. The FR are wacky. I know I have just been kind of rambling about the different things I learned and witnessed in this post. I will try to pull out stories and unique experiences for you in some future post. But for now, know that I am back here in my little room, back to doing what I enjoy doing. If I didn't enjoy it I would have stayed out there with the French... I loved it.

Even though Christmas is over, I am still signing Christmas songs everyday. I only have one holiday album on my iPod. It's Elvis - Blue Christmas, and its prefect for a Christmas away from home. So today's song quote is from that album, mostly because that's what I am listening to right now...

"Well I am feeling mighty fine, got good music on my radio... Well I want to kiss you baby, underneath your mistletoe..." - Elvis

Bagpipes

Every now and then there are moments that you just have to stop look around and think, is this really happening? 

Tonight was clear and crisp. The moon hung low and the sky was full of stars. It was the kind of night you wish you were spending in front of a campfire with friends. The French camp that I am living on right now is blacked out. This means there are no lights outside. It's beyond dark here. It is also extremely quite, unlike my usual room that I am convinced is the loudest place on Earth. Just to low row of generators in the background is all the noise you hear out here. But tonight as I prepared the LZ for the aircraft coming in and out for the missions going on in the valleys below tonight I heard what I thought was music coming from someones room. As I walked further down the LZ marking the landing spots I realized it was not a stereo but it was some on the FOB in the dark doing a pretty good job of playing the bagpipes. This is something I had never heard before and was kind of shocked to hear at first.

But then I stood there for a minute and just enjoyed the moment. A nice night, bagpipes playing in the background, cold air and all.

What Oatmeal?

So I was going to type this letter to my good friends to thank then for the care package. But I figured I would share it with everyone...

The Byrds-

So I'm not sure if you all had heard, but I went from my American base in Afghanistan to a French base... In Afghanistan. So here I am, not speaking a word of French, as the only American in the command post. Its pretty crazy. I am running all the aviation stuff for the French since they cant do it alone. I get to eat at a French DFAC, with French Chef's and we take coffee breaks about 5 times a day it seems. I really don't have many complaints. The espresso machine was broken yesterday so that was pretty bad I guess. The hours are long but I enjoy the work. I have nothing to go back to in my room since the Blackhawk crewchief literally through my Assault Pack off the aircraft. The second I saw it happen I knew my laptop was toast. It was completely smashed. One more reason why I hate Blackhawks.

All this brings my to the next part of this saga. So today two Apaches arrived and told me they had my mail. Which turned out to be a package from you two. This made my freaking day. The French don't really snack and 90% of their food is not what I would consider healthy. So I was thrilled to get a but of good old "Merican" food. When I got this package of the aircraft I was incredibly busy. One of my jobs is pretty much air traffic control for all the helicopters in and out of here. So I set my box to the side and finished getting all the flights and people in and out. When things calmed down I went down to get my box only to discover it was opened and empty except for the letter from you all. Needless to say, I was pissed and terribly confused as to who would have done this. I looked around and about 20 yards away was a couple of locals (Afghans) who were hired to work on the gravel roads of the FOB were trying not to make eye contact. There was a empty RedBull can nearby and the young one on a steam roller was eating something. I went over there to see what was going on and to my surprise he is eating a Nature Valley Granola Bar. Well, they dont sell those at the local market, i do know that. I ask him if he took my stuff and he shrugs, "like oh, I dont understand but I am pretty sure you want to kick my ass...." I make a few more gestures to my empty box and him and he points to his stomach like, "yeah I ate it and it was awesome, tell them thanks." At this point my blood was boiling, and I slapped the granola bar out of his hand. As I did that I noticed something the engine compartment to the steam roller. It was Quaker freaking Oatmeal. I know, that didn't just appear there, and I have yet to see an oatmeal powered car! I point and yell at him and he just looks like, "what oatmeal?"

I quickly remove him from his seat on the roller, very much against his will, and open the engine compartment, and to my surprise its packed with granola bars, various trail mixes, Rebull, and other goodies. I retrieve all my stuff back from this dirty lil haj and re pack my box. He keeps looking at me and motioning like he is hungry and wants some of the stuff. I tell him a few things in English that I am sure he doesn't understand, all of which is probably for the better. He motions again like he is hungry and wants my stuff that he stole, and since it is the season of giving I pick the granola bar up off the ground that I previously slapped out of his hands, and give it back to him. He smiles and takes a bite.

I am still really pissed about it, but I guess I will let it go. A few years ago and in a different country it would have ended badly for this guy. I suppose I have grown out of that phase. Having a son also changes things, he is the first thing I think of any time I do something. I think, "how is this going to affect him if I do/don't do it". The thought also crosses my mind with these people, they have kids, like mine, but dirtier, that need to eat and need warm clothes. This guy has a job, that pays him so he can provide for his kids, and probably fund terrorism. If I were to have thrown him off the FOB then there is no telling if he would one day show back up with a car full of explosives.

Thank you all so much for everything that you all have done. I hope you all are doing well, and I will be thinking about you all through the holidays, while i sip cappuccinos with the French.

I have my stuff. He has a job. Win.

JAKE

It Does a Body Good

To catch you up on what all has gone on will not take long. The reason for that is the fact that not a lot has gone on. Things have been rather quite around here for the most part. My life has become what I can only describe as dreadfully boring, to the point that I am miserable. I like deploying, and I like being in the Army. What I do not like is deploying away from my family and doing nothing in the Army.  It’s a waste of time, and the past several weeks have been just that, a waste of time.

Politics, poor policies, and terrible leadership are mostly to blame. You can also throw is poor personnel and resource management as well. Obviously I am frustrated with the way this whole thing is going right now. My initial impression of deployed aviation is that it’s nothing but spoiled princesses. It makes me sick and regret my decision to join such a group. I don’t want to be seen as a diva.

But aviation definitely has that stereotype.

This however is only a first impression, and while first impressions due last, I am going to see it through in hopes that things will improve. So I will sit and wait until then I suppose.

My new kicks

I have been spending my time doing several things to help pass the time. I visit Green Beans Coffee House regularly these days and don’t miss to many meals. The sitting combined with the abundance of food has made me very concerned about my fitness. This has resulted in a pretty good workout routine that I have begun. We have a small little gym that is right by our B-huts. It’s nothing to amazing but it has the basics and if you work hard enough you can get a good workout in. I have been running a lot as well. As mentioned in one of my previous post, this place has a lot of rocks. My normal running shoes were always getting rocks stuck in them so I decided to purchase some new shoes. I chose trail shoes, and went with a minimalist style. This is my first experience with minimalist shoes and so far I really do like them. It has taken awhile to get use to and my calves are smoked after even a short run, but I am beginning to add more and more distance to my runs and hope to be back to running 20 miles a week. This has all given me a goal to work towards and helped keep my mind off the other BS that continues to play out here.

Lots of fun here….But things may be changing soon. 

My Wife's Nice Pink Box

I must begin by saying thank you to all of you that have sent care packages. They have all been so great. I have enough food and snack to make it through the winter I believe. You all have really gone above and beyond what I ever imagined. Getting mail over here is one of the best ways to end a day. It has been great to hear from you all as well.

It's hard to overlook a package from her. 

On a side note. You are all unleashing havoc on my efforts to get in shape. The candy bars, the little German cherry candy things. Your killing my diet, but I love you for it. It keeps my happy which is actually really hard over here. My nickname has become "Angry Jake". The candy has helped keep this under control.

Thank you all for the support you have shown. It truly has been great.

And we are back....

Sorry for the gap in late-breaking, and up to the minute coverage of my rather dull life over here. We were using the internet contract from the unit that was here before us, and at the end of October it expired. When it did expire we were still waiting on ours to get here. It did, and now we have the internet in our rooms again.

This is all great but there is upcoming news that could slow the whole posting/writing process again through the holidays. As soon as I know more I will pass it along.

But do not worry, I am now, and always will be in good hands. My own.